Because of the length my hair is most times straight. Only the shorter hair is curly. If I had nice curls I wouldn't mind but mine look like '4 weeks in the jungle without a hairbrush'....or something like that.

It totally depends on your hair. A year or 3 ago I wanted to have long hair (or at least try to have it), but my hair is that curly that it started to grow to the sides. That's not what I meant!

But I think you should put your hair in a way that you don't have to do too much for. Of course, it has to look good, but you shouldn't look at others, you should look at yourself. It helped me a lot, especially when I noticed that many people liked it. I think the same should be possible for you.

And it leads to more self-acceptance!!!

Do lots of work in the humid Florida air and you'll get some curls. My hair is very very straight, but working lots in this air, makes the shorter bits curl into little ringlets.

And yeah, 8 in is a little over 20 cm. I had cut it a good amount few months prior, too. After that 8 it was barely at my shoulders. Touches the bottom of my shoulder blades now.

I just keep my hair trimed to the waist line of my jeans. I hate going to a salon to have my hair cut. They always want to do something strange, like cut off too much or deicide I need a new style.

Have you tried those spary-on, leave-in conditioners to try to keep your hair from frizzing? Those help when mine gets too fly-away. My neighbor's daughter deicided she was going to straighten my hair for Mayhem Fest and it's possible she had the iron a little too hot. My hair is much thinner then hers.

What are you doing if your hair is dry and brittle?
I got a new haircut, tried various repair shampoos, didn't use hair slides made of metal (I heard metal damage the hair) but it didn't help.

I've never seemed to be able to grow mine very far past mid-back w/out it looking horrible, stringy and thin at the ends. My hair is very fine anyway, so for the best look I generally don't let it get much past my the bottom of my shoulder blades.

One thing about getting older, that greasy hair I had trouble w/ as a teen is no longer an issue. Now the problem is just the opposite, dry and frizzy. I too have found the leave in conditioners help the best, a husk placenta treatment once a week keeps it in shape. I colored my hair for a couple of years before developing the attitude of "Hey, I earned every one of these gray hairs!" Still get a wild notion every now and then and go back but I never keep doing it for long, just too rough on my hair. The hardest habit to break was washing it every day, it was just routine for so many many years. Get in the shower, get wet, wash the hair then the bod, condition the hair. I also take hot showers, really really hot showers, so that only dries it out more. When I finally realized that (duh, yeah, I can be a bit slow at times) was when I started making myself drop back to every 2-3 days for the shampoo.

Damn, I need to make time to let Mom cut it again. No one but my mother has trimmed my hair in... well, I know it's been over 25 years at least. Yeah, I have some trust issues.

Ever considered using wax? I had a similar problem with my hair a few months ago, but since I'm using wax, it stays in shape (more or less)

I think my hair is a little bit too long for using wax. I have no clue why my hair is so unhealthy. My doctor said maybe my hair is unhealthy because of wrong nutrition but I didn't change my eating habbits in the past. Only things which changed are, I drink less coffee, no more lemonade and eat less sweets.
I tried meanwhile a lot special conditioners. I wash my hair only 2-3 times in a week and brush it carefully but it didn't help.

Maybe at some point you should have a look what kind of haircut suits your hair best. Don't try anything that's impossible with your hair.